“But I’m not ready for the monologue, director!”

I know it is cruelly ironic that I have chosen last night’s dream to record here when I have had any number of more interesting dreams, precognitive, revelatory and just plain fun, but there it is. Maybe it’s that I can’t believe that I am still susceptible to the classic “oh no, I am unprepared” style of dream” …

At any rate, In this dream I was back in the idealized version of my undergraduate college and completing my senior year. The long and short of it was that I was overextending myself, the great culmination of which was that I had to withdraw from the great theatrical finale of the year in which I was to deliver the St. Crispin’s day monologue from Henry V. I’d had months to prepare but hadn’t done a thing, so on the night and actually during the preformance I had to go and inform the director and producer that I would not be going

At some level, I wonder if there is something to this dream that is saying that I'm still a ways a way from being prepped for my own Agincourt.

on.

This may seem innocuous or even quaint, but this feeling of anxiousness, of inadequacy and unpreparedness is disturbing to me because I believe now that our dreams show us glimpses of the spiritual landscape. We dismiss them as “the dumping ground of our subconscious mind” at our peril since, at least from one possible perspective, we will plunge body and soul into the subconscious at our death. Personally, I think we should very much come to terms with out dream life, if only to make sure that our emotional life is that much more ‘together.’

In some ways I feel that I am doing very well so far as dreamtime goes. Over the last four weeks I have enjoyed ‘deja vú’ more than ever, and I have glimpsed clearly perfigurative hypnagogic images that have had clear significance to what I consider important. This is a great improvement as for most of my life any premonitions I had were of completely innocuous, uneventful moments: walking down a hall, someone telling me about some silly little event. Increasingly now I have enjoyed either clear warnings or at least suggestions of quite significant events.

As an aside regarding these premonitions of silly little moments, one would think that the agents of divinity that deliver premonitions would ensure that only important, decisive or even critical moments would warrant an escape from our usual experience of space-time, but my experience has led me to see those agencies as far more mechanical than that. We have a faculty of transcendent vision, but it is up to us to use it in the same way that it is up to us to learn how to use our physical vision to avoid catastrophe.

This dream, then, I take as a proper warning. I have been trying to get my psycho-spiritual house in order lately, but I think I’ve perhaps neglected the academic side of things more than I should have and am feeling unprepared. My son keeps asking about magic, and my response has been to say that he needs to be able to keep a clean room first. Every time I say it I feel like I am saying it also to myself.

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